Is life getting you down? It is certainly easy to think that it is, but are you placing the blame in the wrong place? Could it be you that’s getting you down. Let’s examine the evidence.
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Life is no fun!
It is very easy to develop a belief that life is, in some way, not as good as it used to be. You are not having as much fun, nothing is as enjoyable, as previously. In so many little ways life seems to be letting you down, but is that really the case.
There can be no argument that sometimes we hit more hurdles than at other times. There can seem to be more potholes waiting to trip us, but surely we could walk round them. The problem is it’s easy to start believing our own, negative, propaganda and that is when we believe that life truly is getting us down.
Pick up a newspaper, watch a news bulletin, or follow social media and you receive a diet of bad news. It is often said that good news doesn’t sell newspapers so it can hardly be a surprise that headlines are often catastrophic.
So if things are that bad how come life doesn’t bring us all down? Well it’s all about perception; how we view our world. Are you a glass half full, or glass half empty person?
Perception
Who do you know who seems to be happy no matter what life throws at them? It can actually be infuriating when relentless cheerfulness threatens to interrupt our misery. But is it Mr/Mrs/Miss Cheerful who has a problem; are they not facing up to reality? It is much more likely that we are so focused on the bad things, the disappointments, that we miss the good!
Some years ago I met an elderly lady whose husband had recently passed away. For some years the couple had been living hand to mouth and, quite honestly, in a pretty miserable state. When this lady started to sort out her late husband’s belongings she unearthed a suitcase containing several thousand pounds in cash. The lady knew nothing about this case and it’s contents so she started to investigate where it had come from.
It turned out that for years her late husband had been saving for a rainy day but, once it arrived, he didn’t recognise it. He had become so accustomed to saving, going short, and missing out that he didn’t think about changing, and now it was too late.
Focusing too narrowly distorts our perception, and in turn our enjoyment, of life. We see only the bad things, often to the point that good things are discounted or ignored. But it really doesn’t have to be like that. A massive percentage of our thoughts are habits, and habits can be changed.
Changing our bad habits
It is easy to get into bad habits, but it is easy to get out of them as well. Just a bit of persistent effort over a 3 week period will create better, positive habits. Stop biting your nails <3 weeks. Stop scowling and start smiling – start now and it’s a new habit in 3 weeks. Yes, you’ve got it. It takes about 3 weeks to replace bad habits with good ones.
Is life getting you down? Well it was a trick question really because it is you, and your response to life, that is getting you down. I used to allow the weather to affect my mood. When I awoke to a sunny day I was all smiles as soon as I was out of bed. A wet, cold, windy morning and I started the day fed up, grumpy, even angry. I really believed this was the fault of the weather. It took me less than 3 weeks to change this response – not bad as I’d been doing it the hard way for 60 years.
By focusing on the positives and accepting those things I can’t control, I have become a much happier individual. The really great thing is that other people have commented on this change and I get to share how it has come about. By changing my focus I lost my distorted perception and started to see life for what it is. In my new world life is a kaleidoscope of experiences, people, places, weather, etc. None of these get me down and I no longer get myself down.
Thriving
A few years ago my life changed forever when I discovered The Thrive Programme. I have to admit I was skeptical, not wanting to accept that I was creating my own difficulties. It was more comfortable to believe that life was getting me down and I couldn’t do anything about it.
The Thrive Programme taught me differently. It wasn’t my fault that I was causing myself problems; I did’t know any better! In a few short weeks I learn’t more about myself than I had during the previous 60 years. This old dog certainly learnt new tricks!
I quickly realised that if I could learn to Thrive, anybody could! Quickly I decided that I wanted to help other people change their lives the same way I had. I trained and qualified as a Licensed Thrive Programme Consultant so that I now teach other people to Thrive.
Is life getting you down? No you are – and I can teach you how to stop. Contact me for a free, no obligation chat so you can stop just surviving and really start thriving.
Ian Crosswell
I’m Ian and I’m a qualified Thrive Programme Consultant. Using the professionally developed Thrive Programme – a proven, evidence based, positive psychology training programme – I work with people from all walks of life, providing the insights and skills they need to change their lives for the better.